What happens to people who commit suicide? Where do they go? This question was asked during the Confirmation Class on Confession last Sunday

How does the Church Respond to Suicide?, by Shaun MCafee

The news of Robin Williams’ death is heartbreaking, as is any news of the death of one of our heroes. Just as was the news of mega-church pastor Rick Warren’s son’s suicide.

I can understand Williams and I feel pity and sorrow for those souls. I really can and do. Between the time I was 14-17 I tried on three separate occasions to kill myself. All three times I couldn’t even overdose correctly.

That, or my guardian angel was purifying the poison I had consumed inside my body. That was an awful time of my life; I hated who I was, what I was addicted to, and certainly believed I had no reason to live and didn’t want to.

The problem with depression is that many of those who have it don’t know it, ignore it, or play it down. I’ve always been the funny guy.  I’ve always been the “life” of any social situation, but on the inside, for years, I was hurting. To be honest, I can’t give credit to anything other than God for having dragged me out of that burning building I was trapped inside. Nothing can surpass the understanding of the grace of God.

But on the subject of suicide we acknowledge the crime of taking ones own life. It’s the direct rejection of what God has created us for, a violation of the 5th commandment, but is it always a mortal and grave circumstance?

For those who haven’t familiarized themselves with it, the Cure of Ars is the book that contains the incredible works of St. John Vianney. This book played a brilliant part in my own conversion to the Church. You have to know that John had several mystical gifts. You name it, he likely had it.

One in particular that stopped me cold in my conversion process was his ability to know details of confessors when hearing confessions. I didn’t believe in confession at the time but there was an amazing story about Vianney I was stupefied by.

In it, there is a woman who told St. John Vianney that she was devastated because her husband had committed suicide. She wanted to approach the great priest but his line often lasted for hours and she could not reach him. She was ready to give up and in a moment of mystical insight that only a great saint can receive, John Vianney exclaimed through the crowd, “He is saved!” The woman was incredulous so the saint repeated, stressing each word, “I tell you he is saved. He is in Purgatory, and you must pray for him. Between the parapet of the bridge and the water he had time to make an act of contrition.”

This story is powerful. First of all, we can never understand and know the hearts and actions of others to the degree that God does. Second, and this is really first, we will never and can never understand the mercy and peace of God.

This all speaks just as well to the need for the confessional in the modern world. Society preaches that we are all fine but we spend millions on self-help books and services. The psychologist’s couch has replaced the confessional bench and curtain, and we wonder why western society is hurting, suicide rates are up, and people feel more judged and jailed than ever. When we do approach God in confession we approach the embassy of God’s Kingdom. There, we are not on earthly soil, but are in a place that God has reserved for us to heal and recover from our pain and suffering. The problem is, we don’t always think we are suffering. We get used to the pain. We need to know and remind ourselves that the door to healing and conversion is always open; the light is always on.

The Catechism says:

2282 – “…Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.”

2283- “We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.”

Suicide is a product of such a deep pain and torment that nobody can understand it. From the Church, you won’t find anything in that teaching about going to hell for the act. How should we respond to suicide then?  With pity, and prayers. So long as we do this, we have hope and give others who are on the same road a hope to talk to someone.

St. Paul was certainly convinced.

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:38-39).

Source: shaunmcafee.com

Actor Robin Williams' death reignites questions about suicide, by Tom Tracy

After 35 years of providing counseling and a Catholic outreach to families with a loved one who died by suicide, Father Charles Rubey has consulted on more than his share of the resulting funerals or wakes.

The priest is the founder and director of a Chicago-based ministry called Compassionate Friends, which later evolved into Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide, or LOSS, an entity of Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Chicago.

He still bristles when he occasionally hears misinformation or outdated notions concerning suicide and church teaching.

"The church's official teaching in the catechism still lists suicide as a sin but they do add that in most instances there are extenuating circumstances that could severely impair culpability," said Father Rubey told Catholic News Service in a phone interview.

Twice recently he heard of someone suggesting to surviving families members that their loved one would be automatically deprived of eternal life as a result of completing suicide.

The incidents prompted the priest to draft an advisory memorandum for best practices in dealing with and discussing suicide situations in local parishes, and how best to minister to families already feeling the stigma of suicide and the mental illness that often attended the deceased.

"The church's standing is to be pastoral to the survivors: They feel stigmatized anyway ... and so we shouldn't do anything more because it is a suicide, nor should we do anything less because it's a suicide," Father Rubey said. "We do the normal rites and burial, not treating the situation any differently."

The Catechism of the Catholic Church notes that suicide "is seriously contrary to justice, hope, and charity. It is forbidden by the Fifth Commandment (and) contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. ... Suicide is contrary to love for the living God."

What the church no longer teaches is that suicide automatically condemns the deceased to damnation, while denying family members access to a Catholic funeral and burial privileges for their loved one.

The catechism notes that "grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide. We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives."

"By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The church prays for persons who have taken their own lives," it states.

The Aug. 11 death of actor-comedian and Chicago native Robin Williams has reignited questions about suicide, now the 10th leading cause of death in America. It is thought to often be accompanied by factors such as mental or other illnesses, substance abuse, the pain of social disconnect and other underlying problems.

Father Rubey, whose LOSS program has counseled thousands of family members of the years, said he is saddened but understanding at hearing of William's apparent suicide and that he hopes people don't think less of the actor as a result.

Williams, who was reportedly found dead by asphyxiation in his California home, was suffering from longtime bouts of depression and a history of substance abuse about which he spoke publicly and often with humor.

"Does it make sense to me? No, but I understand that he battled with this all his life and he got tired of the pain. I feel badly for the wife, and all of his fans," Father Rubey said. "He died of an illness and that is the important part of it, just as a person might die from a car accident or from a cancer. But with mental illness they look like everyone else (on the outside) and it may not be apparent."

In Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Bill Schmitz Jr., board president of the American Association of Suicidology, a Washington-based research and prevention nonprofit organization, said he grew up in Boulder, Colorado, not far from the house used in William's "Mork & Mindy" TV sitcom, which aired in the late 1970s.

Fans were flocking to the house in the days following the actor's death to pay their respects.

"My heart goes out to his family," said Schmitz, a clinical psychologist with the Southeast Louisiana Veterans Health Care System. "This touches all of the entertainment industry, just as it can an entire church congregation (in other cases). I think Williams was really trying to find answers, and I would have loved the opportunity to sit with him."

Schmitz told CNS that faith communities can and do play an important role in offering support groups and local networks for surviving family members. Churches can be part of the social cohesion that keeps people from completing suicide in the first place.

"For a lot of people faith is a buffer and protector against suicide -- one of the key components I look at is a sense of belongingness and a sense of community, and church communities are a powerful buffer against suicide because they fill that need so well," he said.

"Spiritual, physical and mental health are all interrelated and interdependent. A sense of belonging is more than just saying, 'I attend services.' It is really about that connection."

Where there has been a suicide, Father Rubey urged survivors not to make it "the family secret," and instead talk about it rationally just with any other tragedy -- especially if there is a history of occurrence of suicide in a given family.

"Children have a right to know what is in their genes and it is part of the family history. It can be a very healthy learning experience: that this is not how you handle life's problems," the priest said.

When loved ones ask him the inevitable question: is my loved one in heaven? "That's a common question people have. My response is always: 'Sure they are.'"

Source: Catholic News Service